You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
