at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize