Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
