so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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