definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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