sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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