just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize