He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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