you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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