we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Im part way to drunk.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
