I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
