Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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