We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
