it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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