My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
