I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
