dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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