I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
