I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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