I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
