do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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