no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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