After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
