This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
