I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize