I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
