im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
