We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
