Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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