do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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