Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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