that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
