at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
