The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
