No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
