Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The air taste purple.
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