i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We're too hungover to prance.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize