butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
