Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
