You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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