I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
