your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize