More tranny stories later!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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