Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize