One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
