Tell her she can't have a vagina
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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