Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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