So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize