I can text with my tongue
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
