i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
