the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
