dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
