Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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