It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
