I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
