i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
