omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
