I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
