watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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