"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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