My nipple is on Facebook.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
third nipple confirmed
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
