just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
