i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
