she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize