fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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