my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
